The Clocks Go Back: How To Save Your Baby’s Sleep Routine

 Yippee An Extra Hour Of Sleep…Maybe?

Don’t forget, everyone, this Sunday, October 25 at 2am, the UK goes back to (GMT) Greenwich Mean Time. So at 2 am clocks go back one hour, to 1 am. Officially, this marks the end of British summertime.

So enjoy that extra hour of sweet, rejuvenating shut-eye.

Oh, wait? What? You have kids? Well then, never mind the extra hour of sleep. Chances are, the only thing this annual time change means to you is that you’ll be trying to adjust their sleep schedules.

An Old Practice….

Personally, I wish we could just get rid of this antiquated practice. Given the increased rate of heart attacks, workplace injuries and missed appointments it causes, I’d suggest it’s outlived its usefulness.

I don’t make the rules, so instead of grumbling about it, we might as well just focus on amending our kids’ schedules as quickly and efficiently as possible.

Here Is My Advice

On that note, here’s my advice for readjusting your family’s internal clocks over the coming week.

When you wake up on Sunday, go about your day as usual. Get the kids out of bed at the same time you normally would. (That’s the “real” normal time, and not the “new” normal time. In short, once they’ve slept the same length of time they normally would have.

During the day, turn your clocks back half an hour. (You don’t have to actually set them back, just keep it in mind for bedtimes.)

Stick with this routine for about four or five days, and then follow up with the next imaginary half hour on Thursday or Friday night.

If it works immediately, great! If not, your kids will still have the weekend to adjust before heading back to school on Monday.

Some people have told me that they find this technique works best if they make 15-minute adjustments over the course of four nights. I’ve had better success with the half hour technique, but hey, whatever works for your kids is the right way to go.

Most importantly, keep the adjustment in mind when it comes to daytime naps and your bedtime routine. Bath time and stories need to start half an hour later so that your kids are physically and mentally ready for sleep by the time you put them to bed.

With a little luck and preparation, you might just find yourself savouring that extra hour of sleep after all.

Is this information useful to you and your family? I would love to hear your feedback regarding your sleep routine.

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Is Sleep Training Safe? Facts and Myths Debunked

 As the parent of a new baby, the number of questions you’re going to find yourself asking are, to put it mildly are astronomical!

The old saying about babies do not come with instructions has cemented itself in parental folk law for a good reason. Even after spending nine months doing endless research on what to expect when baby arrives, as soon as we’re sent home from the hospital with our little ones, there’s an unavoidable feeling of unpreparedness.

Every baby is different, after all. There is NO

• manual
• set of instructions
• amount of coaching from friends and family
• is going to prepare you for your child in particular.

And since this is just about the biggest responsibility that a human being can have, to raise another living person, we feel an incredible obligation to get it right.

Unfortunately, we don’t get any practice runs or dress rehearsals. Your first run-through is the final performance, so to speak, which only increases our dedication to solving problems before they spring up.

Sleep Training Safe For My Baby

And since babies basically eat, poo, cry and sleep, we’re naturally very focused on those four things.

What to feed baby, that’s often a contentious subject on its own and we often find ourselves with a sudden fascination in poo that we didn’t realise we had.

Which leaves us with sleeping and crying.

As a baby sleep consultant, I assure you, I’ve done a lot of research on both.

Crying is a normal

Because the biggest question that parents have when they start sleep training is, “Will my baby cry?”

This really isn’t the question they want the answer to, of course, because babies cry all the time. In fact, if a baby didn’t cry, it would be cause for concern.

Crying baby

What they’re really asking when they pose this question is, “How much will my baby cry, and will I be able to provide comfort when they do?”

Why is this the major concern with new parents? Well, naturally nobody likes to hear their baby cry, but parents nowadays are able to access a wealth of misinformation that claims if you don’t respond immediately when your baby cries, you could actually be harming them.

Unhelpful So-Called Experts

This wasn’t always such a contentious issue. Up until Dr. William Sears came out with his Attachment Parenting theory in 1993, parents were reasonably

comfortable with the idea that leaving a child to cry for a period of time when they woke in the night was safe, if maybe a little unpleasant.

But once The Baby Book was published, a generation of new parents began to cling to the idea that it was not just ineffective but was causing brain damage.

Sears cited studies to back up his claim, but those studies looked at babies who were suffering from

COLIC

a condition known as persistent crying, both of which are a far cry from allowing a child a few minutes of crying time.

And so the argument has raged on for nearly 25 years now, with attachment parenting advocates accusing sleep training advocates of willfully neglecting their babies for their own convenience.

It’s surprising that the pediatric and scientific community haven’t done more to prove or disprove this assertion, given the magnitude of the consequences.

After all, if we’re causing our babies brain damage by allowing them to cry, even for a short period, wouldn’t almost every parent in the world alter their approach to prevent it?

Misinterpreted information

One reason Dr. Sears’ claims didn’t provoke an immediate and widespread investigation was because they were hugely misleading.

The Yale researchers who conducted one of the studies his research pulled from responded to his use of their work by saying, “Our paper is not referring to routine, brief stressful experiences, but to abuse and neglect.

It is a mis-citation of our work to support a non-scientifically justified idea.”

Dr William Sears

Another went so far as to actually note in the study’s own conclusion that ,

“Our findings provide evidence that the quality of maternal behaviour appears to be unrelated to this effect.”

So the mother’s response or lack of it to the condition of persistent crying was inconsequential.

So that’s the argument against the original suggestion that started this whole movement.

Sleep Training Safe Isn’t Harmful

But its supporters will invariably ask, “Where’s your evidence to the contrary? How do you know it’s not harmful?”

Well, back in 2012, Dr. Anna Price, a postdoctoral researcher at the Royal Children’s Hospital’s Centre for Community Child Health in Melbourne, Australia, conducted an extensive study that followed a group of two hundred and twenty six children, measuring mental health, sleep, stress regulation, child-parent relationship, maternal health and parenting styles.

Five years later, she followed up with the families to see the if the one third of the children whose parents had employed some method of sleep training had experienced any of the terrifying side effects that Dr. Sears had warned of.

The result… they had not.

In fact, to quote the study, “There was no evidence of differences between intervention and control families for any outcome.

Behavioral sleep techniques have no marked long-lasting effects.”

But critics continue to try to shoot holes in the evidence. “The sample size was too small,” is a common complaint, no matter what the size of the study might be. “We need further study,” is another, assuming that further study supports their position, which, as of yet, it hasn’t.

Further Research Conducted in Support

So in March of last year, when Pediatrics published another peer-reviewed study that showed sleep training to be both effective and safe, it didn’t change the mind of Dr. Sears or his followers.

But for those new parents who have been bombarded with misinformation and hearsay regarding the safety and efficacy of sleep training, it’s yet another assurance that you can feel confident in the fact that getting your child to sleep through the night is important, safe, and beneficial to your entire family.

Because there’s one thing that everyone can agree on, and that’s the fact that a good night’s sleep is beneficial for mother and baby alike.

So the answer is yes, sleep training is safe. Sleep itself is glorious, rejuvenating, and beneficial to you, your baby, and your entire family. Focusing on your child’s sleep habits is something you can feel good about, and a commitment that will pay off exponentially.

In short, your baby and yourself can both sleep soundly, knowing you’ve made the right choice.

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Back to School Sleep Tips Help Your Child be ready (2020)

 Alright, let me just start off here by saying, no judgment for what might have gone down in the last couple of months.

I know… I’m a child sleep consultant and you may think that I’m going to tell you off for the late bedtimes, inconsistent schedules, or any of the many naughty things that may have taken place over your summer holidays and during lock down.

But I get it. I really do.

I’m a mother myself and I know how precious these summer months are. You want to squeeze every minute of joy and togetherness you can from these glorious days. If it’s a choice between consistent bedtimes and staying up to watch as a family to watch Netflicks.

That’s no choice at all.

So no matter what might have happened over the summer holidays and during lock down, all is forgiven. The mission now is to get your child back on track so that they can get back to sleep at a reasonable hour the day now they have gone back to school.

So I hope you’ll keep reading without fear of any finger wagging or talk of what you should have done differently.

I promise you, it’s not in here.

Set a Time For Bed and Stick to it

So first things first. What time should your kids be going to bed? Well, a lot of parents I work with are surprised to hear that I recommend somewhere between 7:00pm and 8:00pm at night.

They’re even more surprised when I tell them that I suggest they keep that bedtime until their child is about 12 years old.

There are two reasons why I think kids should be in bed, and by that I mean sleeping, by 8:00 at night.

1 – Kids Need Sleep

First, kids need at least 10 hours of sleep a night.

An extra hour or two on top of that is never a bad thing, but you obviously have to make those adjustments based on your own observations.

Regardless, if your toddler needs to be up by 7:00 A.M. in order to get ready for school, they should be asleep by 9:00 at the latest.

Factor in the time it takes them to get to sleep after they get into bed, plus the inevitable request for a glass of water or a totally silly insistence that they need to use the toilet half an hour after you close their door, and 8:00 is pretty much the latest they can get to bed and still get the sleep they need.

2 – Mummy and Daddy Time

Second, you, as a parent, and your partner if there’s one in the picture, need to exist child-free for a few hours a day. You need to be able to watch TV with swear words and sexual innuendo, to be able to eat some junk food without fear of being spotted, to just do grown-up things and to recharge those parenting batteries.

It’s vital to your relationship with your partner and with your kids.

Alright, so now that we know when to put our kids to bed, let’s move on to the significantly more difficult issue of how.

Don’t leave it to the last minute.

If they’ve been going to bed at around 9:00 for the better part of their holidays, try moving bedtime up by about 15 minutes every 4 days until you’re back to their normal bedtime.

If this requires a little deception on your part by adjusting the clocks in their room, you just go ahead and get deceptive. Sometimes the ends really do justify the means.

Establish a Bedtime Routine

If you had an effective bedtime routine before your summer holidays and the pandemic threw everything into upheaval, then try to re-implement it as much as possible.

Familiarity will definitely help your child settle back into the schedule quicker and with less resistance than trying out something new.

On the other hand, if this is your first go at implementing a bedtime routine, let me just stress how much easier a repetitive, predictable bedtime routine can make your life.

When your child’s body and brain start to associate things like baths, stories, brushing teeth, putting on PJs, all done in the same order at the same time every night, it cues up their melatonin production, making sleep come easier.

I seriously can’t recommend bedtime routines highly enough.

Use a Timer

Of course, things like baths and stories are super fun, so there is a tendency for your toddler to try and negotiate for more time in the bath, or one more story.

If you find yourself constantly having to play bad cop, a timer can be your best friend for keeping things on schedule, and as silly as it may sound, takes the blame off of you and puts it on the timer.

Mum can be reasoned with, but the timer is downright unwavering.

Turn of those screens

Along with the slack enforcement of bedtimes during the summer, we also tend to ease up on the rules surrounding TV, video games, or otherwise staring at screens in the hours leading up to bedtime.

After all, there’s no homework to be done, so maybe we can allow a little leeway for an extra episode of In The Night Garden or Peppa Pig

(Which, quite honestly, is as enticing for me as it is for my kids. )

The thing about screens, whether they’re phones, TVs, computers, or tablets, is that they put out a massive amount of blue light.

Our brains associate blue light with sunshine, and therefore daytime, so screens before bed can actually have the unwanted effect of firing your kid’s system back up when it should be powering down.

Try to avoid any screen time for at least two hours before bed.

TOP TIPS.

This also applies to adults, so if you’re having trouble falling asleep at night, try reading instead of watching TV before you turn in.

Turn to the dark side

And while we’re on the subject of light, for many of you living in the northern areas of the planet, you may notice that it doesn’t get dark until significantly later at 8:00pm, and the only thing that simulates sunlight better than a TV screen is actual sunlight.

If your child’s bedroom is still lit up like a Christmas tree when you’re putting them to bed, I suggest investing in a set of blackout blinds.

It doesn’t have to be anything fancy. You can get a six-pack of blinds on Amazon, or even something called non-adhesive window film, which is just plastic you can cut to size and slap up over the glass.

If you’re concerned about aesthetics and willing to spend the money, there are plenty of color options besides black that still block out the light. Whichever way you choose to do it, get that sunlight out of the bedroom.

It’ll make a world of difference, I promise you.

KEY INFORMATION.

Having experienced some leniency regarding bedtime can suddenly transform your child into an astoundingly sharp lawyer.

Arguments for why they should be allowed to stay up later are likely to be heard for at least a few days and, potentially, the next eight or ten years. Luckily, parenting is not a democracy.

It is a glorious dictatorship where “Her Highness, the Momma,” makes all the rules.

Don’t give in to the pressure, because as I said earlier, this 8:00pm bedtime is going to be in place for several years. The sooner they accept that as the norm and their summertime hours as a special circumstance, the easier this whole bedtime thing will be for you and for them.

So there it is, folks! I hope you had yourselves a wonderful summer holiday, and that your children are safe and back in school or starting school again soon.

I promise you that, no matter what grade they’re headed into, nothing will help them go into the new school year with a better attitude and positive outlook than getting plenty of sleep.

And if this is your first experience with the kids out of the house since you became a mum, oh baby, let me tell you about the sweet days ahead. (Once you’ve gotten over the initial heartbreak, of course.)

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Tips for Dealing with British Summer Time & Your Baby’s Sleep Pattern

Baby and Toddler Sleep Pattern

It’s spring again, which means the clocks go forward an hour. In some ways that’s lovely, because it means summer is on the way and the nights will get lighter. But if you have a child who you’ve just got into a good bedtime routine, you might find that the changing of the clocks affects their sleep. Bear in mind that your baby or toddler doesn’t actually know the time – they use their own inner clock – use that to your advantage. The secret is to be prepared, and with just a little bit of effort, you’ll find their sleep routine gets back to normal really quickly. Here are some tips to help you prepare your little one for time changes.

Adjust daytime naps to compensate

You’ll probably find that after the clocks change your little one will be tired before their “usual” bedtime – for example, if it’s 7pm they will be tired at 6pm once the clocks go forward. Try waking them a little later, moving their daytime naps forward or letting them sleep longer during the daytime – this will help regulate their body clock and assist them with moving their natural bedtime an hour later.

Move bedtime earlier

Perhaps the easiest way to get your little one used to the time change is to move bedtime earlier by a few minutes every day. Start about a week before the clocks change and move bedtime earlier by just 5 minutes every day. They will not notice this small difference and within a week of the clocks changing bedtime will be back at its proper time.

Stick to the original time

If your little one normally wakes up too early then you might be able to use the clocks changing to your benefit. Leave bedtime at its usual time – so an hour later by the clock – and with any luck, they will sleep an hour later in the morning, at least by the clock. So if little one normally goes to bed at seven and wakes at six, put them to bed at 8 (new time) and they will hopefully wake at 7 (new time), giving you a psychological lie in!

Finally, another tip is to fit blackout blinds. Lighter evenings can make it harder for a child to sleep, whatever time you put them to bed, using blinds keeps the daylight out and helps your little one realise it is time for sleep.

How have you handled the time change previously? What do you do when you travel to another time zone with your little one? I love to hear from you, the information you share will benefit other parents.

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Why Your Baby Will Never Sleep Through the Night

That’s right, I said it. Your baby will never sleep straight through the night.

And neither will you, for that matter.

This isn’t due to stress, caffeine, lack of exercise, or any other factors that can contribute to a lousy night’s sleep. It’s a normal, natural part of the human sleep cycle.

Understanding the Adult Sleep Cycle

We’re all familiar with the various stages of sleep from our own experience. You might not be able to put a name to them, but you’ve certainly felt the difference between waking from a light sleep and a deep one.

To put it simply, when we fall asleep, we spend a little while in a light stage of sleep and gradually progress into a deeper one. We stay there for a little while and then gradually re-emerge into the lighter stage, and when we do, there’s a good chance that we’ll wake up.

For instance…

❶You fall asleep at eleven

❷ Hit that deep sleep by midnight

❸ Hang out there for roughly 6 hours

❹ Then start to come back to the surface around 6:00 or 7:00

❺ Gradually waking up refreshed and ready to face the day.

Except the whole process only takes about an hour and a half.That’s right. From start to finish, going from light sleep to deep sleep and back again takes between 90 – 110 minutes.

Luckily for us (and for those who have to interact with us) the process repeats itself pretty easily. Either we’ll wake up for a minute or two and fall right back to sleep, or we might not even wake up at all. Ideally, this happens five or six times in a row.

We get a restful, refreshing, restorative snooze in the night, and we reap the benefits of it throughout the day.

Understanding the Infant Sleep Cycle

But enough about us grown-ups. What about our little ones?

Infants, despite their increased need for sleep, have a much shorter sleep cycle than adults. On average, an infant goes from light sleep to deep sleep and back again in an astounding 50 minutes. So whoever coined the term, “Sleep like a baby” was clearly misinformed.

That’s right, I said it. Your baby will never sleep straight through the night.

Our Philosophy 

This is where the essential element of sleep training comes into play, the program doesn’t teach your child to stay asleep, or spend more time in any one stage of the sleep cycle.

What we do is teach your baby to fall asleep independently initially, and when they wake up.

That’s it! That really is the heart if what we’ll be doing together. We’ll be helping your baby to accept these wake-ups as a non-event.

Once they’ve learned the skills they need to fall back to sleep on their own, they’ll wake up after a sleep cycle, their brain will signal them to go back to sleep, and that’s exactly what they’ll do.

There are a few reasons why I feel it’s so important for parents to understand this. First of all, I want you to know that we’re not doing anything that actually influences or alters your baby’s natural sleep. We’re just giving them the skills to fall asleep independently after they wake up, which, as you probably know by now, they’re going to do multiple times a night.

Common Misconceptions

One of the biggest arguments you might hear from critics of sleep training is, “Babies are supposed to wake up at night!”

And that’s absolutely, 100 per cent correct. Babies, just like adults, are supposed to wake up at night.

All that we’ll be doing together is teaching your little one to stay calm and content when they do wake up, and giving them the ability to get back to sleep without any help from mom, a pacifier, or any other exterior source that might not be readily available in the middle of the night.

So if you’re wondering whether or not sleep training is going to put your child at an increased risk for SIDS, or if it will somehow alter their natural sleep patterns, or make them nocturnal, or damage them in any way, I can assure you with the full support of the American Academy of Pediatrics, that it will not.

What it will do is keep them calm and assured when they wake up in the night, and help to ensure that they get the sleep they need to be happy and healthy.

So although your little one is going to wake up numerous times a night, every night, they can quickly and easily learn the skills to get back to sleep on their own. It will only seem as though they’re sleeping straight through the night.

That, I would imagine, is something we call all get behind.

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Should I Hire a Sleep Consultant?

“With all of the information that’s readily available online and the resources you have at your disposal in the form of friends and family who have managed to get their kids to sleep, why would you want to invite a baby sleep consultant into your home to get your child sleeping through the night?”

I don’t often hear this question phrased exactly that way, but I know it’s a concern that a lot of parents have when they’re thinking about getting some professional help with their little ones’ sleep habits.

And it’s a valid question! After all, your mother managed to get you to sleep at some point. Your friend might have four kids who are all champion sleepers, so she should have some answers for you, right?

Well, yes! At least they might. But then again, they might not.

And let me be the first to say, if you’ve got someone who can help you in this situation, I’m not the least bit offended if you want to ask them for help instead of calling a consultant.

Most of the time though, my clients are parents who have already tried that route and found it wasn’t successful, and there are dozens of reasons why that might happen.

The biggest reason why the solutions that work for one parent don’t work for another is simple. They’re not dealing with the same baby.

Some babies are heavily reliant on sleep props. Others can’t sleep in a room that’s too warm. Some may not be getting enough daytime sleep, and others might be overtired. This baby might have developed an association between feeding and falling asleep, whereas that one might be ready to drop their second daytime nap.

And, of course, it could be any combination of all of the above or the many other sleep challenges that babies might experience. Adding to the challenge is the fact that most solutions don’t work overnight, so parents might try a solution that could potentially help baby start sleeping through the night, but abandon it before it takes effect due to some heavy protesting on baby’s part.

In short, sleep is a complicated issue and there’s very rarely one single thing that can remedy the situation overnight.

A professional sleep consultant has the experience and training to recognize which problems result in specific symptoms and can work with you to develop a personalized plan for your child that addresses those individual issues. They can also provide some much-needed support when things don’t seem to be working and give you the encouragement you need to follow through on that plan until it starts to work.

Consider the example of a personal trainer. You could just get some dumbbells and watch some YouTube videos in order to get in shape, so why pay someone to guide you along?

Well, because they’re able to give you solid advice based on education and experience, they can help to keep you motivated, and they know how to respond to the problems that might arise when it comes to your specific situation.

So, when it comes to baby’s sleep, I hope for everyone to find success on their own, and with as few problems as possible. But if that doesn’t happen for you, a professional consultant has the answers and support you need.

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Comfortable and safe sleep environment for your baby this summer

Hot nights and sweaty sheets are no fun for little babies trying to get to sleep. While you can get up, strip off and reposition a fan to cool down, your baby can’t manage her temperature so easily.

At what room temperature will my baby be safe?
A room temperature of between 16-20ºC (60.8-68ºF) is recommended – 18ºC (65ºF) is just right.

How many layers does my baby need when sleeping?
“If you’re feeling hot, then your baby will be, too. Sleep in whatever you’re comfortable and add one extra layer for your baby. If you don’t need any covers, your little one probably only needs one. If you’re sleeping naked, then a sleepsuit and no blankets for your baby will be just fine. In very hot conditions, your baby may not even need this.”

Sleep Environment
Your baby’s cot should be a comfortable and safe sleep environment but sadly it can also pose a serious risk to your baby’s health. Every year around 300 babies in the UK die of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) and the cot can also pose risks of strangulation, suffocation or entrapment.  However, a few simple steps will make your baby’s sleep environment safe so you and your baby get a good night’s sleep. Follow our guide for some tips.

Darkness
Ensure the environment is dark when you put your child to sleep. Darkness triggers the brain to release melatonin, a key sleep hormone. The shift from light to dark tells your child’s brain it’s time to sleep and it’s night time. Brightness, sunshine and direct light will then let your child know that they should “Rise and Shine.”

Temperature
Many people think it’s important to keep baby’s room extra warm but this is not true. In fact, it’s better for your baby’s health if the room is slightly cool. Try to keep the temperature at around 18C/64F – in warm weather you can use a fan to lower the temperature.

A safe cot
When selecting a cot choose one with a firm mattress that is safety-approved and make sure it hasn’t been recalled for any safety issues. If you’re using a second-hand cot check it carefully for faults, damage or missing pieces, and don’t use it if it’s not in perfect working order. Young babies might be more comfortable in a Moses basket – but don’t ever let your baby sleep on a regular bed, chair or sofa because there’s a high risk they will roll off and injure themselves.

Bedding
Cover the cot mattress with a fitted sheet to reduce the chance that your baby will become tangled up with it in the night. Pillows, bumpers, sheepskins, comforters or quilts should not be used as they all pose a risk of suffocation, and toys should not be left in or near the sleeping area. Duvets can also be dangerous and may make your baby too warm. A sheet and one or two open weave blankets will help your baby moderate their temperature during the night. If your child is a wriggler a sleep sack will stop them throwing the covers off.

Sleeping position
Unless your doctor has advised otherwise, you should always put your baby to sleep on their back as it is the safest position. Once your baby is older they will start rolling from back to front and back again – at this stage you should still place them in the cot on their back but don’t worry about putting them back when they roll as they are mobile enough to manage this themselves.

Which room?
Up until the age of six months it’s a really good idea to have your baby’s cot or Moses basket in your bedroom. Not only is it easier for you to soothe your baby in the night when the cot is so close, but research has found that the risk of SIDS in the first 6 months is reduced when the cot is in the parents’ bedroom.

Smoking
One answer – don’t. You should never smoke in the house or around your baby, even outdoors – and definitely not in their bedroom

By following the advice above you’ll be able to create a safe and comfortable sleep environment for your baby. You might also find blackout curtains are useful, as they can help babies differentiate between night and day and settle quickly into a good bedtime routine, and white noise such as the hum of a fan can help your baby relax too.

What have you done to your child’s room to promote sleep? What other methods have you used to produce a comfortable sleep environment? I love to hear from you, the information you share will benefit other parents.

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Getting your Partner Involved

At the risk of generalizing here, it’s been my experience that there’s usually one parent who handles the bulk of the night time responsibilities.  And that parent, in a man/woman relationship, is almost always Mum. Now, before you go accusing me of sexism of stereotyping, I’d just like to point out that there’s a reason this happens.

As a sleep consultant, I don’t get called into situations where both parents are contributing equally, and where baby’s not relying on any external props, and everyone sleeps soundly through the night.  Anyone who calls a sleep consultant in that situation either has money to burn or has mistaken me for a dream interpreter. I’m usually contacted by parents who are having issues getting their babies to sleep, and that’s almost always because baby’s got an external sleep prop that they use to get back to sleep when they wake in the night. And the most common prop I see, by far, is nursing, which pretty much leaves Dad out of the equation. Now, this is a problem for a couple of reasons. Obviously, if baby’s waking up six times a night and demanding Mum come in to nurse her back to sleep, that’s taxing on mother and baby. But there’s another person who tends to suffer in this scenario, and that’s Dad.

It might be hard to imagine, if you’re currently reading this in the middle of the night with a baby hanging off your breast, listening to your husband snoring contentedly from the other room, but it’s true. Dads, the vast majority of them anyway, want to be great dads. They want to have an active role in bringing up their kids, and they love it when they feel like they’re succeeding in that role. But because Mum is the one with the magical breast milk, Dad often feels powerless to help out in the sleep department, which means Mum’s up every time baby cries, and Dad, while sympathetic, can’t do much but go back to sleep. This can lead to some hostility from a sleep deprived Mum, who feels like she’s doing more than her share, and some defensiveness from Dad, who gets to feeling attacked for something he has no control over. But here’s the good news for both of you…If you’ve decided to give sleep training a try, it often goes better if Dad takes the lead. That’s right! Take a load off, Mum. Dad’s taking point on this one. Because Dad doesn’t nurse, and baby knows it. So, when it comes to breaking the association between nursing and falling asleep, baby tends to learn quicker and respond better when Dad comes into the room during the first few nights of baby learning to fall asleep independently.

Here’s the funny thing. Whenever I drop this little tidbit on couple I’m working with, Mum lets out a big woot-woot and teases Dad about how he’s much fun he’s going to have getting up six times in the night.  But then, night one, as soon as baby starts to cry, Mum shoots out of bed and goes straight into baby’s room. Or even more regularly, Mum stands in the doorway instructing Dad on the right way to settle Baby back down and corrects him every step of the way. I have literally sent full-grown women to their rooms in this scenario.  If Dad’s going to get involved, he and Baby have to find their own rhythm, and Mum needs to have little to no part in it. And as much as they always say they’ll have no problem letting their husbands take the wheel, when it comes down to the moment of truth, many women have trouble giving up control. So remember, Dad might just be the magical solution to your baby’s sleep issues, but you’re going to have to let him take over. Take heart though. Most of my clients see dramatic improvements in their baby’s sleep in just a couple of nights, so you won’t have to control yourself for long. After that, you and your partner will have the evenings back to yourselves, and your whole family can get back to sleeping through the night.

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Preventing Overtiredness

If there’s anything that can send your child’s sleep off the rails, if there’s an arch-enemy for sleep training, it is, without a doubt, the dreaded condition of overtiredness.

Kids, as with all people, have a natural rhythm when it comes to sleep. Our bodies secrete hormones to keep us up and running during the day, and different ones to help us rest at night. They’re dependant on a variety of factors, but timing is the most prevalent.

So what happens when your little one stays awake past the time when these natural cues to sleep are activated? Well, the body assumes there’s a reason that it hasn’t been allowed to get to sleep, assumes there’s a need to stay awake, and fires up those daytime hormones again.

And that’s when the trouble starts.

Because once those signals to stay awake get fired up, they’re tough to shut down, and baby’s already tired. So less sleep leads to more daytime hormones, and the cycle perpetuates itself.

So the best way to prevent this situation is to get baby to sleep before they get past that window of opportunity. But babies, especially newborns, are a little bit cryptic when it comes to signalling when they’re ready for bed. However, if you know what to look for, it can work wonders in assessing the right time to put baby down.

There are sleepy signs for you to look out for

Some good signs to watch for include tugging at their ears, or rubbing their eyes and nose, arching their back, and turning their face into your chest.

Now, those are all strong signs that your baby’s ready for bed, but they’re also easily mistaken for signs that your baby’s hungry, so it’s best to combine your keen eye for signals with a keen eye on the clock.

Newborns sleep a lot

Newborns can usually only handle about an hour of awake time in a stretch, so make a note of the time when they wake up and set a reminder or make a mental note that they need to be headed down for a nap around 60 short minutes after that.

They’ll be able to stay awake for longer stretches as they get older, but even toddlers should only be awake for around an hour and a half to two hours at a time, so stay aware of the schedule and error on the side of more sleep, not less.

Toddler sleepy signs to look out for

They have their own quirky little habit when they get overtired. The sudden influx of those daytime hormones can actually make them quite manic, so they might seem to be super happy and giggly for a while; just the opposite of what you would expect from a child who needs to get to bed. But you’ll see before long that their mood will take a big shift into crankiness, and then you’ve probably got a bedtime battle on your hands.

The more sleep, the better

I know that this schedule can sound a little rigid for parents who aren’t used to it. After all, an hour at a time is barely enough time to get a diaper changed, a feed in, and a little bit of playtime before baby’s got to get back into their crib and down for another nap. But I can assure you, no client I’ve ever worked with has ever come back to me after implementing it and said, “I have a feeling that baby’s getting too much sleep.”

So give it a try for a couple of weeks and see how it works. I can almost guarantee you’ll be seeing a happier baby

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Tips on Travelling with Baby this Summer

It’s taken you a few weeks to get your baby into a good schedule and sleeping well. Now that you’ve put in the time, effort, and energy to make this big change in your family’s life, that trip you have planned for next month is starting to stress you out! If you’re like most parents, your biggest fear is that a trip is going to derail all the progress you and your baby have made and cause you to start this process all over again. Sometimes the mere thought of it frightens parents so much that they cancel all summer trips and just vow to stay home until the child leaves for college. That is how important your baby’s new sleeping regime has become to everyone.

The good news is that you do not have to cancel all travel plans this summer and confine yourself to the house for the rest of your child’s life. It is possible to have children who travel really well, if you keep a few things in mind:

Don’t over-schedule

The biggest mistake parents make is that they over-schedule themselves. They try to pack in all the fun and adventure they might normally have had back in their “child-free” days, forgetting an important fact: They have a child now.

A nap in the car isn’t the end of the world

An occasional car nap or slightly later bedtime probably isn’t going to do too much harm, but if your baby spends a couple of days taking car seat naps here and there and having late bedtimes, she may become so overtired that by the time bedtime rolls around on day two, she has a complete meltdown and seems to “forget” all her sleep skills and just cries the house down.

You may start to give into this pressure and bend your expectations for your baby’s sleep. It’s easy to see how you could revert back to your own familiar ways in no time if you gave into this pressure and fear.

Keep to your routine as much as possible

It’s very normal for babies and toddlers to test the boundaries around sleep when they are somewhere new. Just because the rule is the rule at home, that does not necessarily mean the rule is the same at Grandma’s house. This may mean that your baby cries for some time at bedtime or has a night waking or two. The best way to handle it is to not do too much different than you would if the regression happened at home. You can go in every five minutes or so to offer a bit of reassurance, but other than that, don’t bend your rules. If you hang on tight to your consistency, within the first night or two, your child will be used to the new environment and will be sleeping well again.

Familiar items are always handy

Make sure you bring your child’s sleeping toy and/or blanket!

Bed sharing is probably the worst idea

Another big mistake parents make is to bed share with their baby or toddler while traveling. Bed sharing is a big no-no! Even it’s it is only for a few nights, if your baby decides this is her new preferred location, you could find yourself starting all over again when you get home. Most hotels have a cot you can use or rent or take your pack and play along and use that as a cot.

Try and put your baby in another room if possible

If your child is eight months or older, my advice is to try to make some sort of a private space for your baby to sleep. This could be the bathroom (if it’s big enough) or the closet. Anywhere that you can build some sort of a partition between you and your baby, so that if she has a wake up in the middle of the night she is not so excited to see her two favourite people that she ends up wide awake thinking it’s play time! Of course, getting an extra bedroom for your child is great if that’s an option for you.

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What if Baby Gets Sick

One of the most aggravating situations I see parents running into when they’re sleep training is the sudden onset of a minor illness when they’re finally seeing some progress.

After months of sleep issues, they finally decide to take the initiative and get serious about getting their baby onto a schedule, baby starts getting the hang of it, the whole family is starting to see longer periods of consolidated sleep, and everyone’s getting ready to break out the champagne…

And then BAM! Baby gets a cold, or an ear infection, or a bout of diarrhoea, or one of the other seven thousand illnesses that babies are prone to, and the whole thing goes off the rails.

And given how often babies get sick, it’s hardly a surprise. I’m always telling my clients to plan on starting the program when they have a couple of weeks that they can really devote to the training, but you can’t schedule around an illness. So when it happens, it can really take the wind out of everyone’s sails.

So today, I have a few suggestions for you in case this happens. Hopefully they can help you push through this trying situation and get you motivated to get back on track.

Bed sharing is probably not the best idea

First off, resist the temptation to bring baby into your bed. If you’re really concerned and want to be in the same room as them through the night, I suggest you bring an inflatable mattress or a camping pad into their room and sleep on the floor. Keeping them in their own room with familiar sleeping conditions will be much less disruptive than moving them into your room, and you don’t run the risk of them getting used to sleeping in your bed.

No unnecessary sleep props or toys

Second, do NOT give in to the temptation to start offering any sleep props that you might have recently taken away. I know it’s tough, because obviously you want to offer them any kind of comfort you can while they’re feeling miserable, but you really don’t want to reintroduce those things they were dependant on prior to starting sleep training. It can be really confusing and is often even more difficult to break the association the second time around.

Small, temporary changes are ok

Now, let me just point out that I’m not saying that you can’t offer more night time comfort to your baby while they’re sick. On the contrary, I completely recommend it. You should absolutely feel free to go in and check on them more often, take care of any needs they might have, and even give them a little cuddle or a rocking session in order to comfort them.

Just be vigilant and be sure to put them back into bed before they fall back to sleep. Otherwise you run the risk of them developing those associations where falling asleep requires a rocking session or a cuddle, and then you’re back to square one.

You may notice a slight regression when the illness has passed, but not to worry. Your baby has learned some great sleep skills at this point and will probably only need a slight reminder of how things go before they’ll be back into their routine and sleeping soundly through the night again. Just get back to the program, reintroduce the old bedtime routine, and you’ll be seeing those same wonderful results in no time.

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Does Teething Affect my Baby’s Sleep?

Have you ever heard the story of Catherine O’Leary’s Cow?

Back in 1871, the Chicago Tribune reported that the cause of the great Chicago Fire was a cow, Catherine O’Leary’s cow to be precise, kicking over a lantern in the barn while it was being milked.

Unfortunately, the Tribune admitted later on that it had completely fabricated the story, but that didn’t stop people from blaming Catherine and her cow from being widely blamed for one of the greatest disasters in US history.

What’s this got to do with teething, you ask?

Nothing really, except that they’re both victims of some unnecessary scapegoating.

Teething symptoms are sometimes exaggerated…

Teething gets blamed for just about every ailment imaginable when it comes to babies. Baby’s got a fever? Probably because she’s teething. Baby’s crying more than normal? I bet it’s sore gums from those teeth coming in. Baby’s got runny poop for a couple of days? I’ve heard that diarrhea can be caused by teething.

Now, all of those things are potentially the result of a tooth coming in, that’s true. But most parents are too quick to blame teething for any and all deviations from the norm as soon as they notice that first tooth appearing below the gumline.

And this is especially true when it comes to sleep.

Sleep training and Teething

As parents, we’re predisposed to preventing discomfort in our babies, and that’s a good thing, obviously. But the natural reaction when baby starts crying in the night is to go in and do whatever we can to soothe them, which can lead to baby being unable to get to sleep without that comfort.

So let’s say you’ve been sleep training for a couple of weeks, everything’s going well, and then suddenly, you start to see a regression. Baby is suddenly waking up crying two or three times a night. Naturally, you’re going to look for a reason why they’re slipping back into old habits. And if there’s a tooth coming in, that provides a quick and easy answer.

And, of course, it’s not fair to leave baby to cry if they’re actually in pain and not just looking for Mommy to come nurse them back to sleep, so you give in and decide you’ll get back to sleep training once this whole teething thing is over with.

Cut to a year later, and baby is still getting rocked or soothed to sleep every time they wake up, because hey! I think there’s a tooth coming in!

So… just a couple of things to bear in mind before you give up on your sleep training routine due to incoming choppers.

First of all, teething symptoms last for around eight days, so if you’re looking at two weeks of baby crying through the night, it’s either due to some other ailment, or baby has once again learned that crying when he wakes up will bring his favourite person into the room, and she’ll be helping him get back to sleep.

Second, teething symptoms are not nearly as uncomfortable as parents typically imagine they are. We hear about teeth “breaking” or “erupting” through the gums, which conjures up some cringe-worthy images, but nature is not nearly so heartless in this instance. Baby’s gums move out of the way to allow for incoming teeth.

Long story short, according to many experts, teething doesn’t cause a significant amount of pain.

So, once again, I’m not suggesting that you should ignore the teething thing altogether. Just bear in mind that new teeth are not the villain they’re often made out to be. And remember, baby’s going to be a lot happier while going through the process if he’s getting full nights of uninterrupted sleep.

The same thing goes for his parents.

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